It’s time to separate Trick-O-Treat from Halloween

Two years ago,  I wrote about my well documented desire to move Halloween to a potentially better weather day in October.  I’ve argued that it is time to embrace the practicality of celebrating this holiday on a day other than the last day of October because it is almost always too cold in most parts of the country for an enjoyable celebration.  And any historical or religious associations with Halloween are vestigial at best, at least in this country.

When I was a kid, I recall the majority of Halloweens growing up as being cold, dark and rainy. Think how disappointing it is to a kid being told that you cannot go trick-or-treating because it’s freezing cold outside or raining cats and witches.  Fun fact: the advanced forecast for Halloween 2019 in Chicago is Snow!

And as Susan over at Looking for the Good pointed out that until recently, it was dark out every year because they did the time change before Halloween back then, which might be good for scares but not good for kids who are Trick-O-Treating.

Over the years, there have been petitions to move Halloween to the Last Saturday of the month.  So far none have gained the necessary traction.  People just don’t like extreme change.   So maybe the compromise is to decouple Trick-O-Treating from Halloween proper.

Recently, the Halloween & Costume Association, the group that petitioned to move Halloween to the last Saturday of October, proposed a new holiday: National Trick or Treat Day. It would fall on the last Saturday of October and thereby extend the official Halloween celebration, rather than moving it.

This takes the kid portion of Halloween and moves it to a more parent-friendly timeslot while letting Halloween purists still enjoy the true meaning of the holiday: hooking with people at costume parties!

It definitely will help alleviate some unintended consequences that parents of school-aged children face.  If Halloween falls outside of the weekend, parents still have to go to work the next day.  What if you have an important meeting the next day?  Do you really want to be out on the streets until 9 am begging for candy?   Or trying to get your kid out of bed for school the next day is even harder when they are sugar-drunk.  Teachers don’t appreciate having to deal with students who are recovering from a chocolate bar bender either.

If you think about it, many communities already do this unofficially.  They will have special Trunk-or-Treat events, Family-friendly parades or weekend block parties to substitute for going out on Halloween night.  Look, the traditions we associate with Halloween didn’t arrive all at once or from day one.  They evolved over time.  There is no reason we cannot continue to fine-tune Halloween and make it more modern while still honoring the traditional aspects.   

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Things everyone should do for Thanksgiving once in their lives

Thanksgiving is once again upon us.  If you live in the USA you celebrate on the 4th Thursday unlike our more sensible neighbors to the North.  In the US, the holiday is meant to commemorate an event that took place when English colonists held a feast to thank Native Americans for helping them start new lives in the US, before we took everything worth taking from them. 

Why doesn’t Goldilocks come home for Thanksgiving anymore?

In no particular order, here are some things everyone should do once in their lives on Thanksgiving.  Not necessarily the same thanksgiving, although it is possible to do all of these on the same one.

Host or attend Friendsgiving:  When Thanksgiving was discovered? Invented?  I’m not up on my history, most people lived near or with their immediate family so getting together for the holidays was a no-brainer.  These days, it’s not always easy to fly back to NoWhere, Iowa or Hellville, Alabama, especially if you have to do it again in 3-4 weeks for Christmas.  [Some day I”ll write the post about moving Thanksgiving to the first week of November, and he let’s make it the start of Election Weekend.]

Some people also can’t or won’t spend time with their family.  They are estranged, black sheep of the family or it’s just to uncomfortable.

Participate in a Turkey Trot:  Every city, town and subdivision has a Turkey Trot (5K/8K/10K) either the weekend before or the day of Thanksgiving.  If you are able, you should actually run this usually noncompetitive race.  If running really isn’t your thing, they can always use volunteers.

Eat a Non-Traditional Meal:  Back in college, I had a Chinese friend who always joked about being at the Red Lobster with the other FOBs for Thanksgiving.  She was not PC and extolled a healthy amount of self-deprecation.  Skip the turkey and have something non-traditional like Lasagna, Prime Rib or Chinese food.

Give Money and time, but especially Money to Charity:  volunteer at a soup kitchen or community shelter.  They can use your non perishable food donation but they really need money, because strangely, dollars never go bad.

Reflection and Renewal:  Everyone usually waits until the end of the year to look back on what transpired and look ahead at the year to come (New Year’s Resolutions anyone).  I say why wait.  Everything starts slowing if not outright shutting down this time of year.  Most likely your football team is out of the playoffs.  This is a great time to reflect on what was and what can still be.

Thanksgiving 1996 was when I unceremoniously mailed my grad school application to DePaul University.  A few weeks later my check cleared I was conditionally accepted and the rest is history.

Happy Thanksgiving!

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Can we move Halloween already?

Last week was unseasonably warm for October; Sunny and temperatures in the 70s, even 80s.  But this week is more season appropriate and on Halloween the expected forecast is 50s and maybe even rainy.  It is time to embrace the practicality of celebrating this holiday on a day other than the last day of October.

Halloween doesn’t need to occur on Oct 31st anymore. Move it to either the last Saturday of September or the first Saturday of October so that more of the USA can enjoy better weather while engaging in Halloween festivities. In most parts of the country, it’s too dark and almost always too cold on Oct. 31 for a proper celebration.  Any historical or religious associations with Halloween are vestigial at best.

Many believe Halloween is a pagan rite dating back to some pre-Christian festival among the Celtic Druids, which split from the mainline Pagan groups over dogmatic changes and a particularly contentious game of Monopoly. I’ll leave all that for the alien anthropologists that explore our post-apocalyptic planet to sort out.  I just want to move  Halloween to a more practical day.

I’m not just advocating for this now because I’m a parent.  When I was a kid, I recall the majority of Halloweens growing up as being cold, dark and rainy. As in sucky weather for trick-o-treating, which was the sole motivation for it being my favorite holiday. I’m not even sure I thought if it as a holiday in the true sense of the word. I just knew I liked scary things and getting free candy. Think how disappointing it is to a kid being told that you cannot go trick-o-treating because it’s freezing cold outside and raining cats and witches.   Or if you do venture out, you have to bury your costume under  a winter coat.

Apparently I’m not the only person to consider the practicality of celebrating this holiday in its present form on the last day of October. There was a petition last year, don’t know how it went but I hope the cause gains momentum.  While we’re at it, let’s move Thanksgiving too (watch for that post next month).

If you like this post, here are some more things we need to move or eliminate.

 

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Father’s Day finally has some meaning in my life

Today is Father’s Day and I get to partake in it, as much or as little as I want.  Father’s Day never really meant much to me, especially when I was a child.  My father was not a part of my life and that’s just how it was.  It wasn’t really that odd when I was kid because many of my fellow Humboldt Park delinquents friends had Absent Fathers.  It only really became a thing when I was away at college and interacted with white people from the suburbs of St Louis instead of inner city kids.

I can almost understand why my dad wasn’t part of my life.  He was twenty something when I arrived on the scene and that can be a lot for a young dude to handle.  From the few times I did met him, I can tell you he was one part jerk, and two parts asshole and not a Rise-to-the-Occasion or Step-Up kind of guy.  So I’m probably better off that he wasn’t in my life.

What I don’t understand though is why his family didn’t ever reach out to me.  I have their fucking DNA in me and that has to mean something.  Maybe his parents felt they had enough legitimate grandchildren from his siblings to spend the family fortune on.  Growing up, I always assumed a half sister or brother would show up on my door step asking for a kidney.  Spoiler Alert: if that were to happen today they would be so screwed.  You had 40+ years bro.

What is really hard for me to wrap my mind around about FD is the fact that I get a lot of credit, praise and accolades from other parents.  It’s because, as my wife Nightingale points out, I do Step-Up and do the things a lot of fathers don’t, like change diapers, feed and dress my kids and interact with them.  I really don’t know what life would be like if we only had one kid but I’d like to think that I would still change a fucking diaper once and a while.  Guys seriously the learning curve on this one isn’t that high.  Your first diaper won’t be perfect but by #50 (or Day 4 as we call it) you can pretty much do it with your eyes closed.

So I’m torn.  On the one hand, I’m just doing my fucking job as a father, parent and grown up.  On the other hand, these Assclowns who don’t change diapers exist and they really need to be eliminated from the gene pool.

I think the last thing I want to say is that if you are a father and you have guy friends who aren’t, try to reach out to them and let them know that you value their friendship and Today isn’t about excluding them.  Today is about showing them what it’s like on the Other Side.

Happy Father’s Day!
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Memorial Day: You celebrate it your way, I’ll celebrate it my way

While scrolling through FB on Monday I saw a post by a former CN blogger asking Chicago-area peeps to share their “Mem day photos, especially if they were going to a memorial and/or parade.  We are looking for some for TV.”  She left the glamorous life of CN blogger to work the more glamorous and paycheck providing life of Social Media Editor at CBS Chicago.

New stations do these things all the time.  Slow news Holiday weekend, let’s do a collage of photos from our audience.  A snapshot of how the city celebrated the holiday.  And then it happened.  Someone posted the following comment: “I think its more appropriate if they showed pics of our fallen HEROS not parties.”

Don’t.  Just stop it.  Stop.  It.

I’m really tired of people telling me what I should and shouldn’t be outraged about (see Lions and gorillas).  But I’m even more tired of people who tell me the precise way I need to do something in order to gain Proper Commemoration Nirvana.

Look, we get it. Memorial Day is supposed to be about so much more than cookouts and picnics and three day weekends.  It should be a valuable reminder of the sacrifices of many brave people so we can all enjoy the freedoms we often take for granted.

Memorial Day should be our annual reminder that the decisions our elected officials make and the knee-jerk reactions among the public have real consequences. The consequence, every time we commit ourselves to go to war, is that people who would otherwise be alive will end up dead. The costs of war are abstract for most of us, but very real for Mitchell Daehling and his loved ones. We hear a lot of florid talk on Memorial Day about honoring and remembering sacrifices. In my view, we honor their sacrifices best by remembering the chain of events and decisions that led to them.

According to the Oracle Wikipedia “many people visit cemeteries and memorials, particularly to honor those who have died in military service. Volunteers place an American flag on each grave in national cemeteries.”

That said, just because you don’t spend every waking second of the Holiday dedicated to the memory of deceased troops, doesn’t mean you don’t care enough.  To be sure, look to the opposite.  How many draft dodging politicians will stand up at a Memorial Day Ceremony on Monday and then cut funding for the VA the next day?  How many will send troops to die in battle without enlisting themselves or their children?

Look, we should make the meaning of Memorial Day more front and center than we do. Maybe we need to think of it more as a Day of the Dead instead of a Day in the Park.  But that doesn’t mean we can’t have our cookouts and picnics and three day weekends.  Those things are baked into the Memorial Day DNA and they aren’t going away any time soon.

One of the things  I did with my extra day off work was get in a much needed weight maintenance run.  I went for a run around my non-Green Zone, blue collar, ethic neighborhood. Here’s what I saw.  There were people working on their gardens.  On their homes.  Other people where spending time with their children.  I happen to think that’s a fine way to spend Memorial Day.  But if you don’t, that’s okay too.  Just don’t tell me how I should spend my holiday the way you spend it.

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2015 Year in Review: half-assed edition

Every December I think about writing a year in review post but I always forget things that happened in the early part of the year (and by early I mean Jan-early Nov because, old age). This year I tried to keep a notepad file chronicling events as they occurred.  Unfortunately, while that was an improvement over relying on the old memory banks, the effort still fell short since I stopped logging in earnest in early June.

Note: I provided links where I deemed appropriate to content/sources I deemed appropriate.  I strongly encourage you to Google for yourself to find sources you may prefer.

•  While I did a sucky job, the Tribune keeps an excellent gallery of people who passed away in 2015
• The Charles Hebdo attacks in January.  Little did we know that in November Paris would once again experience terrorism from extremists.
• Jackie Robinson Little League team had to forfeit its title.
• Even in death the White Sox and the Cubs compete as Earnie Banks and Minnie Minoso left us.
• Speaking of sports pairs, Patrick Kane and Derrick Rose get injured at roughly the same time.
• The Mayoral race in Chicago extended to a runoff.  If the Laquan McDonald story had garnered more spotlight, the runoff might have turned out differently.
• 19 inch snowfall was one of the largest in Chicago history.

Photo courtesy of Brian Cassella, Chicago Tribune

Let’s not forget the really important events like The Dress — was it black & blue or white & gold?  All that proved was something I already knew:  women can distinguish between colors much better than men.  There was something about llamas on the run, which would make a pretty good name for a band.  [hat tip to Kathy Mathews at Quilting Sewing Creating  for reminding me of those.]

Some more random notes from that file:

•  Hilary Clinton emails,
• 47 republican senators love letter to Iran
• On the Ides of March  Elton John Leads Boycott Against Dolce & Gabbana Over ‘Synthetic Children’ Remarks
• March 27 Horrific plane crash / apparent mass murder in the Alps
• Indiana and “religious freedom.”
• Terror suspects arrested in Aurora
• Bears sign a sketchy player

April 12th:   At the Coachella music festival on Sunday, Madonna  stunned Drake and the rest of the world when she planted a long intimate kiss big one on another celebrity also known for his first name (Drake).  Everyone is quick to remind us that Madonna is 56-year-old.

“Some of us are pausing, uncomfortably, to acknowledge that our response would have been outrage if a man had forced a woman into a kiss. Others among us know that a 56-year-old man kissing a 28-year-old woman would be referred to as no big deal.”  http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2015/04/14/madonna-drake-coachella-kiss/

April 18th:   ESPN reporter Britt McHenry is the latest anti-darling of America’s collective rage after video surfaced of her being a huge twat to a tow lot employee.

Earthquake in Nepal.  Two earthquakes in the spring killed over 8,500 and also triggered an avalanche on Mount Everest that killed at least 17 people.

4/27/2015 — Protests and Riots in Baltimore because of the death of Freddie Gray.

May/2015  Duggar Scandal.  Joe Biden’s son dies.

6-1-2015  Caitlyn Jenner

Charleston shooter and the Confederate Flag

6/26/2015  SCOTUS rules marriage for all.  Some states tried to force exceptions. And Kim Davis, a county clerk, refused to issue licenses for religious reasons.  It didn’t end well for her but at least she got to meet The Pope.

August: lion gets shot, dentist gets skinned.   Cecil the lion that made your Facebook feed explode after being killed by an American dentist in Zimbabwe. The dentist regrets it. The natives of Zimbabwe, not so much.

Sept: pope visits, House Leader John Bohner retires.

That’s essentially where I stopped.  Luckily I subscribe to the Daily Skimm and was able to augment some of these as well as remember a few more items.  [hat tip to Julia Passamani at Lipstick, Lollipops and Life for turning me onto the Daily Skimm.]

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Why all the hate for the Holiday Newsletter?

These are all from one insurance agent!

Back in the days before social media, there was this animal called the Holiday Newsletter. The basic concept was innocuous enough.  Hello dear old friend.  I’m terrible at keeping in touch throughout the year so here is my annual attempt and reaching out and bringing you up to speed on what’s going on in my life.

I’m one of those rare animals that actually like the Holiday Newsletter or at least the original intention behind it: To connect with friends and family that you haven’t seen in forever. While I acknowledge the gesture, I hate getting a card that just says Merry/Happy Whatever and the only writing is someone’s hurried signature…similar to someone just saying Happy Birthday on Facebook.

But the Holiday Newsletter evolved from friendly Keep In Touch delivery system to BBB (Bragging, Boasting, Bullshiting) vehicle.  Instead of saying your kids took a liking to soccer, they were kicking the winning goal in the state championship.  Instead of writing that Aiden is taking piano lessons, he is a junior Beethoven.

You didn’t start a new job, you launched a new career.  Bought a new house?  No you negotiated the Deal of the Century, bagging a $750K 3500 sq ft McMansion for a song.  Your retirement accounts are outperforming expectations, even though the rest of the country 401Ks have tanked.

Even negative news got a positive spin.  Just got laid off, but more time to spend with the children.  Got an intestinal tapeworm from your Caribbean cruise, lost 10 pounds..  All. About. Me.

We need to go back to basics.  Just a single page letter high lighting some of the Life Achievements unlocked that year without any excessive celebrations in the end zone.  Can you do that Santa?

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Don’t Overthink the New Starbucks Red Cup Design

If my Facebook feed is any indication, certain groups are up in arms about the new look for Starbuck’s Holiday cups.  A friend linked to a Buzzfeed piece that reads more like an Onion article.  “The Starbucks coffee cup change smells more of political correctness than a consumer-led change,” British conservative MP David Burrowes told right-wing website Breitbart London.

My Christmas mentality: If a store won’t promote Christmas re Starbucks, I’m not spending my hard earned money there https://t.co/dfNTiwSojI

— Chuck Nellis (@ChuckNellis) November 5, 2015

 

I’m sure people are imagining a group of creatives sitting around Mad Men style conspiring to design a cup that omits all the religious undertones of Christmas.  I’m not sure how snowflakes are a religious symbol but it’s probably because I became Catholic through RCIA and thus missed CDC classes.

Occam’s Razor

It’s probably more simple than you think.  My friend Dean posted in the comments that it probably costs less to go with a simple red design.  Actually, it’s two shades of red: “This year’s iconic red Starbucks cup features a two-toned ombré design, with a bright poppy color on top that shades into a darker cranberry below.”

Update (as Little Merry Sunshine points out):  “Frankly, this is brilliant marketing. No one would be talking about Starbucks if they’d kept the snowflakes. Instead, our Facebook feeds are overflowing with this gibberish and I’ve even seen this “news” reported by respected media outlets. Free press is the best commercial possible.”

Regardless of the reason, at the end of the day, all I expect from my Beverage Delivery System is for it to hold the contents without spilling them.  Bonus if it can maintain the core temperature until I’m finished consuming said beverage.

Of course if you really want to know the story behind the cup, you could just ask.  “Taking a cue from customers who have been doodling designs on cups for years … this year’s design is another way Starbucks is inviting customers to create their own stories with a red cup that mimics a blank canvas.

“In the past, we have told stories with our holiday cups designs,” said Jeffrey Fields, Starbucks vice president of Design & Content. “This year we wanted to usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all of our stories.”

On the other hand, Starbuck’s is very clever and I believe their is a more sinister motive behind the switch.  The company obviously wants edge out Solo in the Red Flippy Cup market.

Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment below.  If you enjoyed this post, you might like this one about Holiday Cards.  Now here’s the part where I beg for stuff because we get paid in likes, shares, re-tweets and feedback. Please also do any and all of the following:

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8 sexy, not slutty Halloween costumes for ladies

Note:  This post is a work-in-progress.   I’m publishing to meet a deadline but please check back for updates.

Halloween is my favorite holiday and it’s just around the corner.  As a kid, I loved it because free candy and Haunted Houses.  As an adult, I loved it because it was the one time a year a geek like myself could fit in.

Still there is a fine line between sexy and slutty and I’m here to tell you that you can achieve the same results with a sexy costume.  Just to be clear, there is nothing wrong with going the slutty route if that is your thing.  You could certainly slut up these choices easily enough.  I’m just positing that you don’t have to.

 

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Father’s Day never meant much to me

Father’s Day never really meant much to me, especially when I was a child.  I have a few memories of my dad, none of them very good. My dad was an Absent Father, which is the politically correct term for not wanting to have Any-Fucking-Thing  to do with his offspring. One time when I was six or seven, I was eating a hamburger and I put ketchup on it, and I licked the extra ketchup off the cover.  Yes that is gross but I was six.  My dad decided to teach me a lesson so he spit on my plate and told me to lick that.*  Did I mention that I was six!

*I’m not looking for sympathy because everyone has their own ghost stories. And I have no reason to believe my ghost stories are worse than yours. We live in a fucked-up world, this is just for context.

One year I did give my mom a Father’s Day Card as a statement that she filled in the at that position but otherwise, it has always just been something in the background.  I’d see a Father’s Day commercial for a sale on tools or tires and I’d think I have to buy a power drill anyway, why not save some dough.

In fact the biggest significant Father’s Day has had until recently was when friends had to decline invitations to get together that weekend because of Father’s Day.  Even though they were the one with the father, they seemed to act like they were going to the dentist instead of spending time with a loved one.

As Walter Michka of Open Heart Blog points out:

“My Facebook news feed fills up around this time with posts about fathers. Grainy photos a skinny, smiling young men. Maybe they’re in uniform or holding the person who posted it when they were a baby. The captions with the pictures wax poetic about how these men were their rock, their inspiration. How their dad read Little Women to them at bedtime. How they miss their dads now that they’re gone and on and on.”  —Thinking of Dad on Father’s Day

So after four decades of never really giving a Flying Fuck about Father’s Day, I suddenly am a dad and the hallmark holiday is supposed to mean something.  Confession: Last year  I bought myself a 65″ Smart TV that was dirt cheap on a Pre-Father’s Day sale.

So while I am now legitimately part of the Dad’s Club, I am still more  concerned with how  to raise  socially-conscious children with beautiful manners and high self-esteem while Keeping Up with the Kardashians is still out there.  Or at the very least, be the kind of father my kids don’t eventually grow up to hate.

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