Summer of 99: When It all went to Hell

This time of year always brings me back to the Summer of 1999 when I experienced a terrible Series of Unfortunate Events.  I lost my job.  I broke my toe.  My roommate and I were not getting along.  I got mugged.  And I let someone special get away.

Hat tip to Nina Vallone of YouKnowKeen.  She inspired me to write this based on this post.  

It always works out in the end; if it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end

Back in the day, before the Marathon Era of my life, I ate, slept and breathed Volleyball. I wasn’t tournament level good but I was decent enough. We use to play volleyball on Tuesdays and Thursdays in Lincoln Park.  We would play until the sun went down, then head to the bar. It was usually very late nights but I still managed to get home just before midnight and get enough sleep to make it through my mindbogglingly boring job as a paralegal the next day. At the start of summer the sun would still be out while we were finishing up the last games. But about this time next week or two, it would start getting a little darker as we finished our games.
Those were fun times but I don’t think I really ever appreciated them for what they were. I should have really just appreciated the fact that I was enjoying all the city had to offer.

“My life was a mess. I was breaking down who I had become. Knowing all too well, I was existing for the moment, living my life, hurried and worried.”

And it all came to a head on the Friday of July 19, 1999.  This was the day I got fired from my dead end job as a paralegal at Big Bucks Law Firm 1.0.  That morning started out on the wrong foot.  I was running late and as I entered the lobby, I ran into a former co-worker.  We hugged and did that thing were you try unsuccessfully to catch up on two years in 30 seconds.

Seeing her was a foreshadowing of things to come.

I don’t want to relive the dirty details of all the Unfortunate Events.  The broken toe meant I couldn’t  defend myself well against the muggers; the getting fired made me too embarrassed to call her back.    I was in G-school but couldn’t get a job in technology because I had neither a degree or experienced.  The irony of that is I wasn’t any smarter the day I got my diploma than the day before but we value that piece of paper, or at least we use to.

At the time, I felt like I was at the end of my rope.  And then I had my epiphany.  And then my Year of Hell, taking on student loans and 3 course per quarter so I could graduation within a year.  And a crappy job at a DotCom.  Things didn’t get better until they did.  And there were other special someones until there was The Special Someone.  And I learned not to be afraid of the Dark.

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Giving up Facebook friends for Lent

So for Lent I’m giving up something that I cannot easily un-give up once Lent is over. I’ve decided its time to cull my FB list. Yes I know that I swore I would never be one those people who unfriends someone just because they don’t remember who that person is, or haven’t talked to them in a while. But then the Great John Scalzi pointed out that:

“Just because Facebook calls its connection mechanism ‘friending’ doesn’t mean that everyone you connect with there are actual friends; they’re merely people who, for one reason or another, you’ve decided to connect with on a social media network.”

I thought I’d cull 10% which would be 87.1 friends at this point. [Or I could do 100 since I’m jonsing about The 100 lately.]

Like many people, my FB friends fall into four buckets which sometimes overlap.

• Real friends and family that I care about;
• People who entertain, enlighten or inform me;
• People I’m loyal to;
• People I know.

As Scalzi correctly points out, only one of these groups are proper friends.  So the people who are safe are family of course and friends that I actually interact with.  High School friends are immune because of that loyalty thing.  Running friends too.  And of course all ChicagoNow bloggers.  Update:  I changed my mind on this one.  IF anyone should understand the need for a FB Blog Page like to increase its internet presences, it should be your fellow bloggers.

I’m going to start with people who haven’t even logged on in years because they won’t care.

Next will be Dead Profiles. When a friend deactivates their Facebook account, they are still in your friends list.  I keep some of these around for reasons, but otherwise this should eliminate a few people.

Next will be the dbags who ask me to like their pet causes but do not like my FB Blog Page because I’m petty that way.  Considering my page tells me that 287 friends like it, that means I have almost 600 friends who are actively not supporting me.  Withholding the kind of help that can be done from the comfort of ones couch without any more effort than it takes to share a cat video.

Finally there are the people who are only friends with me because I was of use to them sometime in the past and they are keeping me around in case that crops up again.

How about you?  Have you un-friended someone for what might be considered a trivial reason?  Tell us in the comments.

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Pope Francis met with Kim Davis: So Fucking What

“Kim Davis Secretly Met with the Pope.” It’s true. A thrice-divorced woman met with a 78-year-old virgin to complain about married people.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) September 30, 2015

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Pope Francis met Kim Davis at the Vatican Embassy during his stay in Washington.  To which I say, in the words of John Belushi:  “BIG….Deal!”

A lot of people are disappointed that this meeting occurred and worry that it is  an implicit endorsement for Kim Davis and her stand against same-sex marriage.  To be sure, many liberals were disappointed when the Pope  was asked about public officials refusing to carry out their duties as a matter conscience, he said:

“I can’t have in mind all cases that can exist about conscientious objection,” the Pope answered. “But, yes, I can say the conscientious objection is a right that is a part of every human right. It is a right. And if a person does not allow others to be a conscientious objector, he denies a right.”

Asked whether that right also applies to government officials, Francis said:”It is a human right, and if a government official is a human person, he has that right. It is a human right.”   CNN

The Pope met with lots of people during his visit to Washington, New York, and Philadelphia.  If it is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it (Aristotle) than it should follow that meeting with someone doesn’t sanction their actions or beliefs.

I know a lot of liberals got a progressive chubby when they heard that Pope Francis pleaded with Congress to abolish the death penalty.  But the pope also touched on conservative porn staples, suggesting traditional marriage was under attack and calling for the protection of “human life at every stage of development.”

What exactly would you expect the Leader of the Roman Catholic Church – a entity that believes that marriage is between a man and a woman, and only between a man and woman  — to say?   The prelate of Roman Catholicism still believes the basic doctrines of the Catholic Church teachings regarding homosexual conduct, abortion, women’s ordination, or birth control.

None of this is inconsistent or flip-flopping.  Since he took office, Pope Francis has reminded his followers the Catholic Church must shake off an obsession with teachings on abortion, contraception and homosexuality and instead focus on the greater need to make The Church a merciful, more welcoming place for all.  That those issues comprise only a small part of the belief system of Catholicism as defined by the scriptures and the teachings of the church over time.  The Pope has made clear his belief that the church needs to shift its focus, become more inclusive, and pick their battles more diligently.

Apparently he gave Davis a rosary, which she in turn gave to her parents, lifelong Catholics.  Kim Davis is an Apostolic Christian after a religious conversion four and a half years ago.  Side note: some Christians sects don’t consider Catholics to be Christians and don’t recognize the prelate of Roman Catholicism as anything beyond a guy in a big hat.

According to Davis, the Pope told her to Stay Strong.  She isn’t the first person the pontiff has said this to on this trip.  In fact, he says it so often it’s like his catch phrase.   Just like when Sheldon Cooper says Bazinga!

More importantly, it is what he didn’t say.  While he may have encouraged Davis to Stay Strong and advocates conscientious objection, he did not go so far as to suggest that conscientious objection should override civil duty of elected officials.  Besides, the branches of government in this country are Executive, Legislative and Judicial; we don’t have a Papal branch yet.

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Catholic Bishops veto of gay-friendly Synod not a loss for Pope Francis

Source: Flickr Creative Commons/Mazur/catholicnews.org.uk

 

Conservative bishops in the Roman Catholic church voted against language that had been “hailed as a historic warming of attitudes towards gay people”  according to  The Guardian.

In the final report of an extraordinary synod on the family which has exposed deep divides in the church hierarchy, there is no mention – as there had been in a draft version – of the “gifts and qualities” gay people can offer. Nor is there any recognition of the “precious support” same-sex partners can give each other.

A paragraph entitled “pastoral attention to people of homosexual orientation” – itself a distinctly cooler tone than “welcoming homosexual persons” – refers to church teaching, saying there can be “not even a remote” comparison between gay unions and heterosexual marriage.

“Nevertheless,” it adds, “men and women of homosexual tendencies must be welcomed with respect and sensitivity.” They should not suffer from discrimination, it adds. But the shift in tone is clear. And, in a potentially stark sign of the discomfort provoked among many bishop, even this watered-down passage failed to pass the two-thirds majority needed for it to be approved. —  The Guardian.

 

Here are some of my thoughts.

1. Better to do nothing than release something half-baked or watered down.  And I mean that both ways.  If the Church decides to go all in and not support “The Gays” then by all means don’t try to sugar coat it with ambiguous lukewarm statements and double speak.
2.  This is the first extraordinary Synod in almost three decades.  While we don’t know how the individual bishops voted, we do know the count.  This is because Pope Francis wanted the process to be as transparent as possible while still maintaining the confidentiality of individual bishop votes.  Encouraging the bishops to speak their minds Pope Francis has embraced a radically more collegiate style of church governance than has been seen for decades.  The man definitely practices what he preaches.
3.  It is possible the veto occurred because some progressive bishops wanted to preserve the original suggested language.  This sounds like wishful thinking but it isn’t unprecedented.  Back in the early 2000s a conservative group lobbied against an anti-abortion bill because it wasn’t restrictive enough in their eyes.
4. Pope Francis: classy as ever.  Not showing any disappointment at the outcome of the vote, He said “Personally I would have been very worried and saddened if there hadn’t been these … animated discussions … if everyone had agreed with one another or had kept silent in a false and acquiescent peace,” The Guardian.
5. Don’t forget the Divorced and Remarried.  One of the other items on the plate was Catholics who have divorced and remarried should be allowed to take holy communion.   – that issue also failed to gather the necessary two-thirds majority.

So is this a loss for Pope Francis?  Not by a long shot. Ever since his election last March, The Pope has time and again made clear his belief that the church needs to shift its focus, become more inclusive, and develop a better understanding of people’s lives in modern times in order to survive, let alone thrive.  By calling this synod and implementing its level of transparency, the Pope is forcing the issue sooner than later of what direction the Church wants to go.  Does it continue to live in the past or does it get with the program and adapt to modern times.

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Archbishop of Genoa: How would you feel if we swapped Gay with Catholic

In a speech published this week by the Italian bishops’ newspaper Avvenire, Archbishop of Genoa Angelo Bagnasco slammed the recently announced Italian government pamphlets in schools aiming to teach children about love and diversity.  The anti-homophobia campaign follows a series of high profile murders and suicides among young people in Italy. (source.)

[Cardinal Bagnasco] wants parents to fight schools’ efforts to prevent anti-gay bullying, saying they are ‘brainwashing’ kids into being LGBTI friendly….Bagnasco likened anti-homophobia state education in Italy to a totalitarian dictatorship.  He also said the efforts were turning schools into ‘indoctrination and re-education camps’.

But this solution to ‘homophobic bullying’, Bagnasco says, is in fact designed to brainwash children to have ‘preconceptions against the family, parenthood, religious faith and the difference between fathers and mothers.’  The cardinal has urged parents to take a stand and not be ‘intimidated’.

‘Parents must defend their children against gender ideology,’ he insisted. ‘It is a grave duty of society – at all levels and forms – not to corrupt the youth with ideas and examples that no father and mother would want for their children.’- SOURCE:emphasis mine.

Couple of things.  First, I’m quoting a newspaper that is in all likelihood translating what the cardinal said in Italian into English so there might be room for good old Miss Interpretation.  Second, while I haven’t fully researched or looked into this issue it strikes me odd that an Archbishop cares about what the government run schools do.  I get that in Italy it might be a different sack of potatoes with regard to the whole separation of Church and State and there might be more at stake here.  Hopefully not-so-new Pope Francis send this guy a text message asking him to focus on more important things like  making The Church a merciful, more welcoming place for all.

Finally, when I first read the article I decided that some mental masturbation and fantasy foreplay was in order.  What if we substituted gay for catholic (or any other non-protected class of people that share a similar characteristic or common denominator  i.e. blondes, lawyers or even biker gnomes).  It might be interesting to read the story that way.

So below is my edited version of the above quote. Note: I did my best to take the original story and simply search and replace “gay” with “catholic”. To make the quote cohesive, I had to make a few more modifications that should not detract from the overall point of this post.

Secular Authorities want parents to fight schools’ efforts to prevent anti-catholic bullying, saying they are ‘brainwashing’ kids into being Religion friendly….Secular Authorities likened anti-Catholicophobia state education in Italy to a totalitarian dictatorship, adding that the efforts were turning schools into ‘indoctrination and re-education camps’.

But this solution to ‘Catholicophobia bullying’, is in fact designed to brainwash children to have ‘preconceptions against the family, parenthood, secular faith and the difference between fathers and mothers.’ The secular leaders have urged parents to take a stand and not be ‘intimidated’.

‘Parents must defend their children against anti-agnostic ideology,’ they insisted. ‘It is a grave duty of society – at all levels and forms – not to corrupt the youth with ideas and examples that no father and mother would want for their children.

Yeah, I’m probably going to get excommunicated for this.
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Speaking of the Pope, Vatican City Explained

So every Friday I like to feature a cool video. This one by the geniuses known as CGP Grey explains Vatican City.

What to say about the not so New Pope.  On the one hand it sounds like he’s a different breed from the garden variety bishops.  On the other hand, you don’t get to be a top dog without playing the game in one way or another.  So far I do like what I’ve been fed.

I’ve stop being a practicing Catholic in the sense that I stopped attending mass coincidentally once the Era of Nightingale began and except for weddings, haven’t been in a church in ages. Last year I missed getting ashes this year for the first time since becoming catholic (RCIA) and I didn’t give anything up for the second year in a row. It is probably more luck than effort that I haven’t eaten meat on Fridays during Lent.

The fact is, while I still believe in God and try to maintain a sense of spiritualism, I am pro choice and pro same-sex marriage. I also recognize that it’s kinda ridiculous to eat no meat on Fridays or give something up for lent in this day and age. Even though I find fault with some of the policies of the church, I still consider myself Catholic. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite, I don’t know. That’s between me and God.

We can debate Catholicism another time. For now, just enjoy the video.

 

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What Pope Francis said and what it really means

Popes say the darndest things! in a lengthy and refreshingly blunt interview with La Civilta Cattolica, the Italian Jesuit magazine, Pope Francis said the Catholic Church must shake off an obsession with teachings on abortion, contraception and homosexuality and instead focus on the greater need to make The Church a merciful, more welcoming place for all.

Photo Credit: articles.chicagotribune.com – by Philip Pullella

His comments were welcomed by liberal Catholics; but they are likely to be viewed with concern by conservatives who have already expressed concern over Francis’s failure to address publicly the issues stressed by his predecessor, Benedict. Source: Chicago Tribune.

As a Catholic, I’m very proud of this statement issued by the Pope. The more I learn about this Pope — who replaced Pope Benedict only six months ago — the more I believe this Pope genuinely believes what he’s selling: the future existence of the Church relies on inclusion, not exclusion. Either that or he is a way better actor than anyone gave him credit for when he took over the shop.

That being said, this interview — which is being treated more like a revelation — isn’t exactly what some people seem to think or hope it means. For one thing, there are no doctrinal changes. No change on the teachings re homosexual conduct, abortion, women’s ordination, or birth control. Rather, it seems this Francis guy just wants everyone to pick their battles more diligently and focus on what really matters:

So just like it isn’t he job of brain surgeons to put out forest fires, the Pope seems to be saying that it isn’t the job of the church to punish sinners or marginalize anyone. That’s up to God.

“So we’ll keep being misogynistic homophobes; we’ll just be quieter about it.” Call me when they start ordaining women and stop meddling in politics and advocating against human rights for women and homosexuals. This was a commenter named Joseph Finn on Change of Subject.

Lighten up, Francis.

Its priests should be more welcoming and not cold, dogmatic bureaucrats. The confessional, he said, “is not a torture chamber but the place in which the Lord’s mercy motivates us to do better.” Source: Chicago Tribune.

The Bible’s got plenty to say about greed, adultery, caring for the poor, loving others (even your enemies). Somewhere between all the translating from Aramaic to Greek to Latin to dozens of other languages, one of Jesus important messages has been lost: Stop being D-bags to one another!

Sounds to me like that’s the message Pope Francis is trying to send.

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