Flashes of Confidence

No one has ever accused me of posing an overabundance of Confidence. There have been glints, glimmers, and flashes, but at best I usually oscillate between cautiously optimistic and Fake It Til You Make It, with a heaping helping of Second Guessing thrown in for good measure.

Now the question  I have is, is it Fake it until you make it, or Fake it Til you make it or Fake it Till you make it?

By the way, there is absolutely no point to that last sentence and if I were a better writer, I’d just edit it out, but now that I’ve written it and then written about it, I just can’t seem to let go. Or writing about the sentence. OMG, what if I can’t finish this post because I’m stuck on this shit now?

Let’s get back to Serious for a minute.  Confidence is something you gain when you have successful outcomes and experiences.   And most of my life that was not the case.

Growing up in Humboldt Park, I got my butt kicked a lot for being a white kid in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood.  It doesn’t inspire a lot of confidence when you know any stupid disagreement that kids have is gonna end up with someone starting a fight with you.

I remember being confident (or was it just cocky) in college.  Something changed somewhere during my time at NMSU.  When I first arrived I had confidence but by the end of my time there I lost my confidence.

And of course, any Modicum of Sureness after college was beaten out of me at my first job in Corporate America.

Even when good opportunities with lots of potential presented themselves, I would somehow either fuck them up myself or they would not match my perhaps disproportionate expectations.

I still don’t really have confidence so much as Bravado, or as it’s known by its scientific name: chutzpah.  At this age, my confidence is more just not having many fucks to give about things. I don’t back down and crumble when a friend doesn’t like something I say on Facebook.  I stand up for myself and defend myself better, though I willingly adapt my thinking upon receiving new factual information, like when I’m really being a jackass.

In a nutshell, I’ve become Bugs Bunny and that rabbit oozes confidence.

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What to do when you unexpectedly bump into coworkers outside the office

I’ve written a couple of posts on the subject of Surviving Corporate America and today’s post is inspired by Listing Beyond Forty Kim Z Dale’s post. Kim essentially says that seeing a co-worker outside of work disappoints her because it removes her from her mental happy place and reminds her of work.

“It’s an unfortunate coincidence of time and space that you ended up commuting in the same L car as me, but now that it’s happened let’s set some boundaries.”

I liked her post and agree to some extent; sometimes you just want to be left alone.  But I’m also torn because while I can see Kim’s point, I also think there is something to be said for fostering the Work Friendship.  We are not robots only programmed to interact during office hours at the mother ship. it could be an opportunity to bond with a co-worker on a level that cannot be achieved at the office.

It’s an unfortunate coincidence of time and space that we work for the same employer, at the same office, at the same time in our lives.  If we knew each other from Social Club Volleyball or a photography workshop, would chatting with you on the El be acceptable then?

I said DO NOT SPEAK to me!

I know it can be confusing to try to understand all the unwritten protocols and nuances for what to do when bumping into a coworker.  so I’ll tell you what to do.

First, remember that you are bumping into them in public, i.e. free space.  They didn’t barge into your living room.  They have as much right to be there as you do.

Second, it doesn’t matter where you are on the ladder at work, outside the office we all put our pants on one leg at a time.

Third, situational awareness is key.  If you are waiting in line at the movie theatre (do people do that anymore?) it won’t kill you to be sociable for a few minutes.  On a train ride as Kim mentioned, you are interfering with their Alone Time so do so judiciously.

Fourth, don’t talk about work!  specifically don’t ask if I finished the report you asked for or if i got your email.

How do you react when you bump into a coworker outside the office? Tell me about it here in the comments, then swing by my Facebook page and LIKE it! You’ll find funny, informative links and interesting pictures.  Don’t worry, your FB feed won’t get overwhelmed.

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Sometimes even the simplest DIY projects become complex

On a recent visit to my in-laws, my FIL gave me a spare USB Charging Electrical Outlet they had lying around.  As much as I embrace technology, I didn’t really feel like I need one of these in our house any time soon.  But since they gave it to me for free, essentially saving me $15, I figured I might as well install it in the kitchen to have a second charging area.  My wife Nightingale might appreciate being able to keep her iPad charged while cooking.

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Have you ever tried to do a simple 10 minute project and find that it really took all afternoon, or even longer? Tell me about it here in the comments, then swing by my Facebook page and LIKE it! You’ll find funny, informative links and interesting pictures.  Don’t worry, your FB feed won’t get overwhelmed.

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You can show Empathy, Outrage and Restraint all at the same time

Hey, did you hear about that Thing That Happened just recently moments ago?  It’s all over the Twittersphere and my Facebook feed has gone nutzo with everyone posting the same headline that totally and accurately Sums Up Everything That Happened.

Now the story has just come out, but of course we know everything about it because we are experts.  On EVERYTHING.  Let’s all board the Outrage Train.  Wait a minute…this just in.  New Information that totally turns the story around on its head.  Quick cue the backlash.  Now the backlash against the backlash.

Oh and look, now come the Johnny Come Lately friends who are sharing older versions of the story versus the Johnny on the Spots who share every new tidbit of info even if it later turns out to be untrue.  And of course the Mimes sharing Memes.

Oh let’s not forget clueless bloggers trying to ride the waves for page views (looks in mirror.)

Finally it devolves into a My Belief System versus Your Belief System.  Because if two people have a difference of opinion, it has to because of influence from the right or left, not just thinking for oneself.

Here’s a picture of some cute kids obviously up to no good.

If you are reading this on the date this post was published, I’m likely talking about the incident on United flight 3411 where an Asian doctor was forcefully removed from his seat.  But I could be talking about the Pepsi Commercial fiasco or anything that happens day and day, week after week in our Immediate News Cycle and Instant Gratification Society.

This is a paraphrase of I wrote in a private FB group when the story first came to my attention:

This is one of those Viral Outrage stories that always seem to follow a pattern. Look for some “additional” info that might justify the actions. then the back lash against the back lash. wash. rinse repeat.  I was speaking generically about the pattern of event like this: something happens, it looks like X, then more info is revealed, suddenly it’s less clear cut. In this particular instance agreed it would be hard pressed to justify dragging and injuring a passenger.

I wrote it too quickly and should have added that there is nothing I can think that would justify how this guy was treated. However, the pattern still remains: event | outrage | new info | back lash | backlash against backlash.

I got a little pushback from another CN blogger who implied I was Tone Policing:  “when someone has been victimized in any context, the demand to hear the other side because there must be more to the story is VERY hurtful to people who have already suffered very publicly.”

 I think her assessment was a bit strong but I apologize I came off that way.  I’m not saying the outrage is never justified. I’m just saying it’s okay to wait 5, 10, minutes or so to gather all the facts.  And sometimes I think the knee-jerk response seems to be more outrage than sincere empathy.

Thank you for reading and I hope you will comment below. 

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CPS Proposed Acceptance Letter Graduation Requirement insane, out of touch

Mayor Rahm Emanuel obviously isn’t looking to run for a 3rd term.  Otherwise he would reconsider or seriously revamp a plan requiring high school graduates to have a post high school plan.

“Starting with next year’s freshman class, in order to receive their high school diploma, all CPS students would have to show an acceptance letter to a four-year university, a community college, a trade school or apprenticeship, an internship, or a branch of the armed services.”

update 4/6/2017:  It appears this plan isn’t officially implemented and is still  in the planning stages.

This sounds like something someone who hasn’t been in high school for centuries thought up.  Or doesn’t have any friends with diverse life situations.  What if you don’t know what you want to do after high school and want a Gap Year?  Sucks to be you Malia Obama.

So what if you don’t get accepted to college?  Are you forced to join the military?  How many kids are gonna fake an internship to Vandelay Industries?

• Rahm should drop this idea
• How the plan may be discriminatory
• What wrong with Rahm’s plan?

Know who wouldn’t have to abide by this requirement?   Private schools, Religious schools, Charter schools and I suppose Home schooled kids.  And let’s not forgot, Mayor Emanuel sends his kids to private school.

Do you think this requirement is detrimental or a big nothing burger?  Tell me about it here in the comments, then swing by my Facebook page and LIKE it! You’ll find funny, informative links and interesting pictures.  Don’t worry, your FB feed won’t get overwhelmed.

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